The following post is a rant. I'm tired. Tired of the endless inability for people to try to play nice in the sandbox. There's plenty of sand here for everyone. Stop pooping in it and then trying to cover it up. You know others are going to find it. So just STOP it!

It has gone on for so long, the behind-the-scenes machinations.

I have heard too many first hand accounts of the nastiness directed at others, the talking behind backs while the unknowing target puts heart and soul into their performance, the sniping and cruel criticisms, the venom and tittering laughter while someone does their best on stage.

I have seen the results of these passive-aggressive tactics.

And now I'm pissed. This nonsense needs to stop. Grown women should not behave, act, or REact as it seems people are doing.

For one thing, if you have a problem with someone, or the way they have costumed, or the photos they took to promote an upcoming event, or their performance... it is inappropriate to discuss such things with others in a derogatory and scathing manner. It makes you look like an ass. It makes you appear to be nothing better than jealous, and nothing less than petty.

Dancers, performers, instructors, who are confident in their abilities and in the esteem of their students and audiences... do NOT need to disparage the efforts of other dancers.

Someone who has nothing to fear, and who deserves the respect of everyone in a local dance community, should NOT be spreading innuendo, rumor, and outright lies about a person they have not had the courage to approach regarding that person's intentions or troupe affiliation.

No. Let me be blunt. That may be best. Let's just really lay the cards out on the table here. I'll show my hand. Do you have the courage to show yours? Hm?

Do not go to my instructor, the person I consider to be my main dance mentor, someone very dear to my heart, and fill her ear with poison about me or my intentions. How can someone who has spent almost no time with me, has no clue about my character or integrity, and who has made NO attempt to address their concerns TO me... have any idea what I'm thinking, or what I'm doing?

I am angered that a person would DARE to use someone I respect so much in this way. I am aghast that they would presume to pay lip service to the idea of "hurting her", when it is their own intrigue, whisperings and conjecture that does the hurting.

Do you want to know what troupe I identify with, of which I am a part? Ask ME.
Do you want to know if I intend to leave that troupe? Ask ME.
Do you want to know why I'm participating in an event? Ask ME.

I have always been up front about my intentions. I dance with whom and where I please. That has always been clear. When I have committed to a troupe event, I won't let anything get in the way of that. That does not stop me from pursuing other interests at other times.

My instructor has always been supportive of my efforts to learn and grow. She has always been supportive of my efforts to dance at various events, in various venues, with various people.

I have always been clear in my affiliation with her troupe whenever I DO those events, so people will know who taught me. It gives credit where credit is due. It makes it clear that, while I'm doing an outside event, I am also part of something else, and maybe people will want to see what that's all about as well.

So, yes, I use the troupe name when promoting my dancing, because people should know that members of our troupe are versatile.

There is no disrespect for my instructor in dancing with other people. In fact, it shows the respect she has for ME, or any of her other students, that she encourages us to pursue our dance interests outside what we do with the troupe.

I am disheartened that there are those who seek to undermine the relationship between my teacher and her students by coming to her with twisted tales of what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it.

These same people who have, by first hand accounts, spoken so very poorly of her, and said things I find reprehensible.

So let's just clear the air. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and I certainly have no shame in what I'm about to say.

My name is Joy. I am a dancer with the Ananka Dance Company in Fresno, California, and I have been so affiliated since 1998. My teacher, and main instructor, is Ely Buffin. She has a wealth of knowledge of which I know I haven't even scratched the surface. She is also a wonderful human being that I am pleased to have made a part of my life, and I would never intentionally, or knowingly, disrespect her. I have much to learn from her, and as long as she is willing to share her knowledge with me, I will keep learning.

I also dance with other people. There are several former students of Ely's that I consider good friends. If and when I am invited to dance with them, I will do so as I please, as my time and schedule allow, with a happy heart that I can share my time with people who share my dance roots.

I will dance with people who are not affiliated directly with Ely. I have in the past, and intend in the future, to learn from many different instructors, take workshops in things that interest me, and continually pursue different styles of dance.

I count Lydia, the director of Tanjora Tribal Bellydance, as a dear friend. We have discovered many things in common outside of our shared interest in dancing, and our friendship has grown, independent of it. I have danced with her at various times. She has referred jobs to me, and I have shared job referrals with her. I have no intention of avoiding association with her, or her troupe. I have met most of the people that dance with her, and I like everyone I have met thus far. If invited to dance with them as a guest, I would be delighted to do so.

People who treat me with respect and kindness will receive the same from me. I am saddened to know there are those for whom I once held great respect and esteem that have seen fit to make assumptions about me and my personal character that are incorrect and unflattering.

I will make no apologies for participating in an event billed as "pirate bellydance".

It's fun. It's funny. It's a lark. It's fantasy. It also happens to be a popular trend nationwide. It's performance art of a different kind. (And not much of a departure from what I've done with the troupe all these years.) What IF... pirate wenches bellydanced? What would that look like?

If you come to the show on May 25, you'll get our perspective on the idea.

I may be unwelcome at your events, but you are more than welcome to attend mine. What I do may not be what you do, but I don't fear what you do. I do not consider what you do as a reflection on MY artistic expression. And you should not consider what *I* do as a reflection on yours.

You can be certain I will show less skin while doing it than the persons who have made unkind remarks about my photos have shown in their own past performances.

And I always wear proper underwear.